I guess every day can't be great. But then again....
it's really all about attitude. So... I know i just need
to suck it up and brush my bruised ego off. And,
I'll feel better when I hit the surf again.

I had a pretty rough time the other day at a
notoriously hostile spot. I was still pretty worn out
from surfing so many days in a row. So.. for some reason,
since I had been to this spot before and always had great
times... i was thinking that someplace familiar would be
nice. It was aThursday morning and I guess I was
expecting it to be a fairly light crew out. Boy, was I
wrong! The place was packed.

I probably should have just gone somewhere else... or
taken the day off... but I saw that this nice bodyboarder
whom I had met last week was at this break. I thought it
might be a nice opportunity to surf with another
bodyboarder. And.... yes.. that part was nice.

But as far as catching any waves.... I caught only
1 or 2. And.... I have to say... for the first time in
my brief surfing life.... I was uncomfortably aware
of how out of my league and completely unwelcome
I was by the majority of surfers
in the water. I don't blame them. I wasn't up to par. I
left the water after an hour or so.... feeling like a
complete doofus.

Later... I checked on this site and on another web site
about bodyboarding that I frequent. I know that the
young kids .... and... a lot of grown men like to make fun
of fat women. So.. it wasn't surprising to see some
snide remarks about my posted pictures and read
people writing rude comments about the "fat chick"
bodyboarder. i'm used to
it. Usually it doesn't bother me. But... after such a
demoralizing day in the water... it just put me kind
of over the edge.

I took a couple days off. I'll go back out pretty soon.
But,
I think i'm just going to enjoy surfing alone.... or where
the
surfers are more mellow. If i ever learn to surf well....
then I
guess that will be sweet revenge to all the mean spirited
haters.

Sorry about this post being sort of negative. I write m
y
journal more for me than for other people to read. I try
to
look back and think about what I've learned from each time
I've been able to surf. Thanks to those of you whoi have b
een
supportive. Everyone needs a little encouragement from
time'to time. I'm not giving up.... just in a bit of a fun
k.