First off i need to make it clear that i am happy. 
i just dont know exactly how i feel at the moment. But
over all i am happy.. very happy.

In my last entry
i said how i had met this girl. Well the good news is i am
still seeing her and things are moving forwards slowly. But
thats where it kinda stops. She is awsome, like by far the
coolest chick i have ever met and i have a really good con
nection with her. I just feel really lost. I am not used to
this at all. I'm used to a girl needing me, and it would b
e wrong to say that i get off on that. It just makes me fee
l like i have a reason for being there if you get what i me
an. I just dont feel that with this one. Its almost as if s
he doesn't need me at all and infact its the other way arou
nd that i need her more. She says she doesn't need to tell
me things because i already know so there is no point in&nb
sp;her saying anything else. Sometimes its just nice t
o hear. All i know is that we are going ot be together
for a long time. The part that scares me is that i am scar
ed i'll end up in a relationship where i fee
l like there is little point to me being there and that i s
hould have just walked away when i had the chance in the be
gining. And dont get me wrong thats not what i want to do.
The truth is.. and as i have always been told the truth is
always best, i dead set feel pathetic. I'm happier to be wi
th her, in what ever form it is that we are together, i sti
ll havn't figured that out yet. But i just feel like i am t
his stupid little kid sitting on the sidelines of a game i
really want to be playing, but all i can do is just sit the
re and watch. I dunno i guess i am just not used to this wh
ole thing. I just dontw ant to say anything though fear of
loosing her.

Its just the strangest thing for me. I
mean when we are together i am really really really happy.
Its all smiles and laughs and kisses and hugs and everythin
g i have been craving for months and months. listening to&n
bsp;her laughing makes me happy. To see her smile makes me
smile. To hold her is the warmest most comfortable place to
be. The day she tells me that she loves me i dare say my h
eart will stop.

I am going to wait as long as i hav
e to to hear that as well. Even tho it is aggony because i
already know how i feel. Even in this short period of time
i know why i skipped a beat when i walked into her place fo
r the first time. I guess its just going to be all the more
sweet when it settles down and i know that she feels the s
ame way.

M

Entry Quote
"Trying my hardest
to keep my "dancing blades" off my "saint" but i
'm failing... and falling" 

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Ok, i have been in and out of love more times then harry
kewell has been fit. A quick run down is, with a chick for
4 and 12 years, got screwed, was engaged to a chick after
that, got screwed. The next 12 months is a blurr of chicks
i want but i cant get, and the chicks i get i dont want.BUT! i say But. I get a call from my mother of all pe opl
e. "Anthony are you single at the moment because there i s
this girl i want you to meet".

So, as much as i wa s
a little hesitant to call her, i did, and we met. Holy sh
it Batman. First off she is stunning. My hieght (short), am
azing body, beautiful eyes and smile (amazing smile). Just
holy shit she is top dollor. ANYWAY. She blew me off at fi
r st, and i was like.. hrmmm ok then, looks like the ol mas
si ve has lucked out again.

But in a strange twist
of fate, we ended up seeing each other again. And then last
ni ght for the third time. We talk for hours, we enjoy eac
h ot her company.But the main thing is it look s like this
one is going to be a bit of a keeper.

M< BR>Entry Quote
"Dont try and save the wounded bird, once
her wings are healed she will fly away... go for the b ird
who can look after herself... she might just like your comp
any and you dont have to be a hero".

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